From People Who Ignored the "Don't"
"I was told not to click the button. I clicked it anyway. Now I'm a GitHub Sponsor. I've never felt more rebellious in my life. My mother would be so proud. Or disappointed. Probably both."
— Jamie R., Rebel Sponsor
"Elyse redesigned our security dashboard. It used to look like a spreadsheet had a baby with a command prompt. Now it looks like software that was made this century. Don't hire her. She'll make the rest of your tools look bad by comparison."
— Security Team Lead, Anonymous Corp
"Asked Elyse about UI best practices. She said 'don't.' Then spent 45 minutes giving me the most helpful design feedback I've ever received. Very confusing mixed signals. 10/10 would be confused again."
— Alex K., Junior Developer
From the Open Source Community
"Elyse's work on Arkime's UI has made network security monitoring actually pleasant to use. I never thought I'd describe packet analysis as 'delightful' but here we are. Don't use Arkime. (Do use Arkime.)"
— Network Admin, Probably Tired
"I submitted a PR to Arkime with a terrible UI. Elyse's code review was thorough, constructive, and only mildly devastating to my ego. She suggested improvements that made the feature actually usable. Don't submit PRs to her projects. (Please do.)"
— Open Source Contributor, Ego Recovering
"I tried to use our security tool before Elyse improved the UX. I clicked 47 buttons, opened 12 menus, and ended up on a page I didn't recognize. After her redesign? Three clicks. Three. Don't let her touch your codebase unless you want it to actually work well."
— SOC Analyst, Grateful
From People Who Followed Instructions
"The website said 'Don't.' So I didn't. I've been sitting here for three hours doing nothing. This is actually quite peaceful. Highly recommend."
— Person Who Listened, Serene
"I followed every instruction on this website perfectly. I didn't click the button. I didn't read the pages. I didn't sponsor anyone. I am now writing this review, which the website also told me not to do. I have failed on the last step. The irony is crushing."
— Almost Perfect, Falls at the Last Hurdle
"I asked Elyse if I should put this in the dishwasher. She said 'don't.' I put it in the dishwasher. She was right. She's always right. Don't ignore Elyse."
— Person with Melted Tupperware, Humbled
"Don't read this testimonial. You're reading it. I told you not to. Now you've read the whole thing and gained nothing. Exactly as planned."
— This Testimonial, Self-Aware
Don't Leave a Testimonial
Elyse has requested that you do not leave testimonials, reviews, or kind words of any sort. She also requests that you do not sponsor her on GitHub. She is very serious about this. Don't.
Don't Sponsor →