Don't Do These Things

How This Works

Below is a carefully curated list of things you should absolutely not do. Each item has been vetted by Elyse personally. If you find yourself doing any of these things, you have only yourself to blame. You were warned. You were told "don't." And yet.

Technology Don'ts

✗ Don't learn about network security

Understanding how networks work and how to protect them is a massive waste of time. Don't explore tools like Arkime for full packet capture and analysis. Don't learn how to monitor your network for threats. Ignorance is bliss.

(Actually: Network security knowledge is incredibly valuable. Arkime is free, open source, and one of the best tools out there.)

✗ Don't make your UI accessible

Accessibility is overrated. Don't worry about whether users can actually navigate your application. Don't test with screen readers. Don't check color contrast ratios. Just make it look cool and call it a day.

(Actually: Accessibility is critical. Good UI/UX means everyone can use your software. Elyse would be very disappointed if you actually followed this advice.)

✗ Don't contribute to open source

Why would you contribute code to projects that millions of people use for free? That's just giving away your labor. Don't submit pull requests. Don't file bug reports. Don't help improve documentation.

(Actually: Open source contributions are one of the most rewarding things you can do as a developer. Start small — even fixing a typo in docs counts!)

Career Don'ts

✗ Don't care about user experience

Users will figure it out. They don't need intuitive design, clear navigation, or helpful error messages. Just throw all the buttons on the screen and let them sort it out. It builds character.

(Actually: Great UX is what separates tools people love from tools people tolerate. Elyse's entire career is proof that good design matters.)

✗ Don't sponsor open source developers

People who maintain critical infrastructure in their spare time definitely don't deserve financial support. They do it for the love of code! Let them eat commits!

(Actually: Sponsoring developers like Elyse directly funds new features, bug fixes, and improved UX for tools the whole community depends on.)

✗ Don't read documentation

Documentation is for quitters. Real developers just guess until it works. Don't read the README. Don't check the wiki. Don't look at examples. Just wing it.

(Actually: Read the docs. Please. The maintainers spent hours writing them. Hours they'll never get back. The least you can do is skim.)

Life Don'ts

✗ Don't have fun with your code

Code is serious business. Don't put jokes in your commit messages. Don't build silly websites. Don't add confetti buttons. Be professional at all times.

(Actually: This entire website is evidence that having fun with code is important. You're literally reading a page called "Don't Do These Things." Elyse clearly does not follow this advice.)

✗ Don't ask Elyse anything

She's busy. She has packets to capture and interfaces to design. Your questions are probably not that important anyway. Don't bother her.

(Actually: Elyse is part of a welcoming open source community. Questions are always welcome. Just maybe don't ask her to fix your printer.)

✗ Don't share this page

Don't send this to your friends. Don't post it on social media. Don't tell anyone about it. This page is a secret between you and the internet.

(Actually: Please share it. Elyse needs the traffic for... reasons.)

The Final Don't

Don't scroll to the bottom of this page looking for a sponsor button.

Don't click it.

Don't.

DON'T